HOW TO HANDLE IT?

Assalamualaikum dan apa khabar semua. I still sihat sentiasa. Actually now I try to living a healthy lifestyle starting by changing my daily food taking. Instead of using ordinary rice, now I try to change into a brown rice….. Then see what happened next.

Ok…. For today, I want to shared with all of you another entry and for today I need some advice from my friend out there how for me to handle my emotion. I nie actually bolehlah dikategorikan sebagai seorang yang cepat hot tamper @ cepat melenting @ cepat naik angin when something that I didn’t like happened to me and yes…. I do know that it is not a good behavior but it is not easy for me to let it go.

Before this, I still boleh handle sikit-sikit, kalau I tamper pun, I just marah sikit-sikit lah (you boleh baca entry mulut celopar @ laser). Biasanya memang mulut I jer lah yang bising and biasanya perkataan yang keluar tue still boleh dianggap tidak keterlaluan lagi but lately nie, it likes to hard for me to handle my emotion. I tak tahu kenapa? Adakah disebabkan bebanan kerja I yang semakin bertambah or sikap I yang terlalu perfectionist or sikap I yang berubah after I got a promotion. Oh god…. what should I do?

Dua hari lepas, I bergaduh besar dengan Miss Q (baca entry ‘Bisa dari mulut’) and puncanya tak seberapa pun. Just because of kipas and meja. I maki dia seolah-olah dia tue bukan manusia. I buat dia betul-betul macam anjing kurap. Dah lah suara I nie kuat bila marah, ditambah pula dengan kata-kata kesat serta carutan and dengan ramai orang yang berada di situ, dia pasti rasa terhina sangat. Sampaikan dia menangis baru I slow sikit. Even one of my boss (perempuan) pun terdiam bila I tengah marah. Kawan-kawan yang lain for sure tak berani nak campur….maybe takut kena maki dengan I.

Yang paling tak sedap ialah bila I mempertikaikan education level dia. actually that is really sensitive issue and it is not good bila kita memperkecilkan orang sebegitu. Yes…. Memang I’m more educated then her but it is not good if we questioning the other likes that…. Try to humiliating the other by make then look too dumb, too stupid, or to makes us look  ‘I’m the best’.

Bila I dah reda sikit, my manager pun panggil I. Dia ajak I minum kopi bersama and at the same time we discuss about the ‘tragedi’. Then baru I cerita pada dia perkara yang sebenar. Actually 2 days before that ‘tragedy’ happened, I ada sikit rasa tak puas hati dengan Miss Q (I nak pinjam kipas, dia tak bagi) and I nie pulak jenis yang bila tak puas hati, I start cari pasal dengan orang yang buat I sakit hati tue. It is the way for me to tell that I’m angry with you. When I start buat hal, Miss pulak fight back and as a men, I for sure akan tercabar so…. Boom! Terus meletup on that day.

On that time, I lihat Miss sebagai satu makhluk yang sangat I benci and perlu dimusnahkan. Macam-macam I maki dia, she just defense herself with a nice word and I still use unappropriated word. I’m mocking, insulting and yelling at her just likes that. Sampaikan tangan dia terketar-ketar and she said “tolong respect sikit akak! Akak cukup respect dengan you selama nie” sambil menangis. 

Habis jer I ceritakan pada manager I, then dia pun bagi I sikit advice. Manager I cakap “for me, it’s likes ombak di dalam cawan. Ia tak akan ke mana-mana pun. I tak kata you salah or dia betul coz masing-masing ada point masing-masing tapi bila you cakap kasar dengan dia di depan orang ramai and memandangkan umur dia yang lebih tua dari you, memang kelihatan you quite rude for her. Orang perempuan nie kan hatinya lembut, so I think it is gentlemen if you can ask for apologies to her coz after this, both of you still have to work together and still have to communicate”

Bila I fikir balik apa yang manager I cakap, I rasa memang I agak keterlaluan on that time. Huh….  What can I do? I tak tahu, bila I tengah marah, memang I dah tak nampak kiri-kanan…. Kepala I terus jer rasa panas and boom! Again.

So, can someone help me to solve this problem. Yeah… I know I’m not pious person. A person who obeying his religion. I’m not a good person but I just a person. So….sometime we get mad, happy and sad…. All those thing was in me but how can I control it and how can I be a better person?

(I dah pun mintak maaf pada Miss Q on the same day and she forgive me. I try to makes sure that this is not gonna be happened again. Try to living healthy live inside out)